”Insecurity is a feeling of uncertainty, a lack of confidence, or anxiety about yourself. Put aside your insecurities and start acting like the smart, capable person you are! Insecurity is the word for what you are probably feeling when you walk into the cafeteria on your first day at a new school and everyone else already has someone to sit with.
But soon you will make friends and forget about your insecurities. It can also describe the state of being open to danger or threat. The economy may have you worried about job insecurity. Or maybe it’s the insecurity of a rocky relationship that keeps you up at night”.
Raging Jealousy
Jealousy in a relationship can be quite emotional, though it is considered healthy, when kept in check. First of all, you don’t want to lose your relationship to someone else. All the same, there is no clear line between what is considered healthy jealousy, because there is a point where it turns into insecurity.
What triggers jealousy in a man and woman are basically the same. Signs of jealousy include: fear of losing something valuable, getting apprehensive when you don’t know the whereabout of your partner and constantly spying on your mate.
Seeking for Validation and Reassurance
The constant bugging of your partner for reassurance could be irritating. You ask questions such as; Do I have a good shape? Do I look attractive? Do you love me and a whole series of questions spurred on by insecurity. Conversation with an insecured partner is often obstructed by inquiries that usually demand immediate answers.
Insecurity is as a direct result of one not believing in self and taking it a step further by wanting to know how other people feel about them. According to verywellmind ”Insecurity impacts your relationship by creating an imbalance. You become more preoccupied with what your partner is not providing and instead demand reassurance or validation for your insecurities”.
Fear and State of Paranoia
Unfounded fear creates friction in a relationship, especially when your partner is afraid of the unknown and questioning the reason for every action.
Constantly wanting to know every detail of your partners movement can be tiring for both parties and may weaken the relationship. Insecurity give rise to a state of paranoia which in essence causes fear, mistrust and also activates a monitoring mode.
What else, insecurity is often mistaken for love, and is a drain on a relationship. More often than not, it leads to avoidable argument between couples. However, signs of insecurities are mostly displayed by men more than women.
Low Self-Confidence/Complex
Low self-confidence and a general lack of esteem is potentially a sign of insecurity in a relationship and is associated to a person’s upbringing
Persons with low self esteem experience frequent mood swings and seldom forgets bad moments. Getting teased and bullied in school, told you weren’t good enough, or perhaps even the lack of proper affection growing up all, would definitely have long term implications on a person if left unresolved.
If you’re already been feeling uncertain about almost every aspect of your life, then how can you expect your relationship to be any different? Struggling when it comes to giving yourself permission to just be you, holding yourself to high standards and judging yourself often.
Insecure spouses have a complex, exhibited as an inferior or superior complex where you doubt your own emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. However, persons with superior complex feel that thier actions are indisputably the best.
In Summary
A combination of several factors creates insecurities in a relationship and there’s never just a single clear cause behind it. To overcome insecurity, you need to learn to start embracing qualities that foster greater love for yourself, because the key to having a secure and loving relationship all starts with you.
If we ever hope to create a lasting relationship, then its time to Identify the root cause behind you or your partner’s insecurity and understanding how to overcome it are both important processes to work on.
There is still hope, to fix your insecurities. If you think you can no longer control your mind, talk to someone or seek help from a professional.