The Divorce Addict

Could this be happening to me DIVORCE !!!!!!!!!

Love at First Sight

 Pat is a humorous person and she is mostly happy, but that changed as soon as she married Rob. Her woeful union began right from the onset with unprecedented misery and nightmares. 

The union began on a bright sunny day, a few days to Christmas and the courtship lasted for just two weeks. Rob proposed to Pat and she accepted to marry him because he hid his true self and made people believe that he was a great guy. Pat was completely blown away by his dreamy eyes and petite stature and being a naive young lady, she couldn’t see who the real Rob was.  

Making The Marriage Work

As soon as the wedding and honeymoon were over, she made a vow to make her relationship work. Unfortunately, the decision to marry Rob without running a background check marked the beginning of her road to a marriage with a bed of thorns.

Pat’s handsome and well-educated man, showed her love initially but had serious attitude issues that rubbed off as ill-mannered, which came up more frequently than his good side. He seemed not to have clear directions about what he wanted in life but was driven by peer influence.

The Cheating Husband

A few months into the marriage, Pat observed that Rob felt more at ease having conversations with others than her. Again, she noticed that her husband felt awkward openly showing her affection. Though she felt unloved, she never gave up on playing her role as a spouse.

About five months into the relationship, Pat caught Rob cheating on her with a salesgirl down the alley. In Rob’s attempt to justify his cheating, he painted a picture of his wife as the bad person who never cared about him.

Divorce on My Mind

For as long as the marriage lasted, Pat lived in delusion and wondered if that was exactly how marriages worked. She thought about divorcing Rob but having found solace in reading novels on divorce, she believed that soon enough her marriage to Rob would be saved. Nonetheless, Pat needed no soothsayer to read the handwriting, she understood that divorce might just be the way out, but on having a second thought, she resolved to bring back the spark into her relationship with her husband.

As the relationship kept smoldering the tide of survival, Rob and Pat kept working at it, with the determination to avoid divorce and be a doting couple. Not long after, Pat got pregnant with her first child but throughout the period, she was home alone. Rob slived closer to his shop in order to participate in late evening rush hour sales. He had promised to visit Pat frequently but unfortunately, he sparingly did. Whenever he visited, he was in a hurry to get back to his business.   Oftentimes during his visits, he came along with bags of groceries and snacks, and this brightened Pat’s day and allayed some of her fears.

Making Babies

One rainy weekend Rob came home, probably because he knew Pat was due for delivery. That same day, Pat began to experience pains which marked the onset of labor. 

Rob drove his wife to the hospital and left. Pat delivered a baby boy in the early hours of the morning. Hours after delivery, Pat kept expecting Rob’s arrival at the hospital, but he didn’t show up till mid-afternoon. By the time he arrived, Pat was already tired, hungry, and angry at him. 

On the verge of the collapse of their relationship, Pat got pregnant again. Communication was non-existent at this point and more surprises sprung up which made Pat very upset. Robs’s debtors showed up unannounced, demanding that Rob pay his debt or they would take legal action against him. She was visibly shaken and scared, being six months into her pregnancy.  As the news slipped to Rob’s family about his indebtedness, one of his sisters willingly obliged and paid off some of the debts Rob owed. Pat heaved a great sigh of relief.

The Mediation

One issue led to another and the marriage looked like a movie with so many series of challenges, but  Pat remained undaunted and believed that divorce was not an option and that things would get better soon. 

As the option of divorce kept looming, the couple invited a marriage Counsellor to intervene. As much as the Counsellor worked to mend their union, the more drawn apart they grew. 

Pat’s hopes of enjoying bliss were strongly tested when the number of Rob’s visits to their home kept decreasing. Pat waited for weeks that turned into months without sight of Rob. At that point, it dawned on Pat that Rob had walked out on her, without a word of explanation. Then, she made a resolution to be strong till she birthed her baby.  

Addicted to Divorce

Then came the bang shortly after Pat’s delivery, Rob had filed for divorce. The whole process lasted for two years and was stressful, overwhelming with all the rigors, not to mention the legal fees.

Pat never heard about Rob again, but three years after the divorce, she learned that Rob had married her erstwhile lover. The marriage had crashed. She also learned that Rob had serially married four more women but had walked out of the relationship one after the other.

The Reconcilaition

Fifteen years had gone by since Rob and Pat’s tedious divorce process when Rob showed up and made a comeback bid. 

He wanted to reunite with Pat and the children and was ready to do anything to marry her again. This seemed insane to Pat because they were officially divorced. The remarriage matter lingered for almost three years. Pat’s vulnerabilities sprung up again as she consented to give the relationship a second shot.

Most Surprising

As they were perfecting their wedding plans, Rob found another lover and was determined on marrying her. He gave excuses for his actions and blamed Pat for not letting the children relate with him as he expected. Rob was absent till the children became teenagers and bonding would be a gradual process for all of them.

This last stunt that Rob pulled was not only surprising to Pat but was unbelievable and looked like a movie script. Pat blamed herself for giving Rob the opportunity to dump her again. She felt used. 

 

Moving Forward

Pat dusted herself and picked up the pieces of her life, and said that it was enough. Life had carved a strong woman out of her, having weathered the storms of divorce. She muttered under her breath “good riddance to bad rubbish”.

After the storm comes the sunshine, Pat is happy, living a fulfilled life, and giving no one an opportunity to ill-treat her. 

Her life has become more meaningful and exciting. She hopefully looks forward to meeting a wonderful man that would bring happiness into her life.

Pat has learned her lessons the hardest way. She has resolved never to have anything to do with toxic relationships and negative vibes. She has put Rob behind her and it would ever remain so. 

She is obviously not saying that she is a SUPERWOMAN. She has scaled many difficult hurdles in life and came out stronger, confident and, emboldened.  

You too can!!! Move on !!!